Michael Newman
Goes By: Mike
Surface Dweller
Secret Shame: Pyromaniac
First appearance: Mike's Heralded Return to MERB Street
Bio: Mike moved to MERB street with Roth, his friend since High School, way, way back in the fall of '00.He'd kicked his fiery obsession a few years before and was just looking to settle down and hang out, basically doing nothing. With any luck, the money would just sort of trickle in. It didn't. What followed were many foolish plans and get-rich-quick schemes. Recently, one of these plans has finally succeeded, and now work is a thing of the past.
Mike is, and always has been, particularly insecure, especially for someone who suffers from a mild form of giantism. Or maybe he's just tall and out of shape. Nobody knows, or even cares.
Deep down, though, Mike is a pretty good guy. He tries to do the right thing - usually - but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Who can blame him? You can, if you want. Because it's pretty fun, and if you do it enough, maybe you can make him cry.
Nobody knows if those things on his head are horns or ears or antennae or whatever the hell those are. Seriously, look at them. WTF???
The best part about Mike is you can get him to do like anything. Seriously. One time I tried to get him to drink three raw eggs out of a glass, and he wouldn't do it, so I'm all "Come on, don't be such a pussy! Jesus, man, don't wimp out, chickenshit," and he's all like "We'll see about that!" and then he got sick for like a week. It was hilarious shit.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Mike's a good guy. Wait, I said that already.
Fuck.

Gregory Roth
Goes By: Roth
Surface Dweller
Don't Call Him: Gregory
First Appearance:Mike's Heralded Return to MERB Street
Bio: Roth is a fascinating little character. Fascinating in that he's got some good stories, little in that he's kinda short, and character in the sense that he's a character. What? He is. Shut up.
Roth was a hitman before he decided not working is easier than working. But for what it's worth, he sure did a good job. He can wield a gun like nobody's business, and he knows a lot about various firearms. This comes in handy all those times when... well, it never comes in handy.
Roth's always looking for a good drink and a good party. Oh, and flying cars. He likes those. But not like those Jetsons ones, because those make that annoying bubbly sound when they drive by.
Roth's about as practical as they come on MERB Street, and by that I mean he's not worried about breaking the law. Seeing as how there's no cops around anyway, it doesn't matter. Roth always looks out for Number One, but keeps his friends close, too. He's a bit wild, maybe, but not stupid.

"Eve"
Goes By: Eve
Denizen of Hell - High Demon
Specialty: Corruption
First Appearance: Fire and Brimstone
Bio: Eve, as in, the first woman of all time, has been doing what she does for a long, long time. But really, she doesn't look a day over 800. It's the makeup. And the fact that she's an immortal hellspawn. Regardless, she may not look like much, but she's the best Succubus/Seductress/Dentist/Demon in the biz, and though she may not get much respect, she works wonders. We're not quite sure how, since she resembles more a toothpick than a vision of beauty with the power to blacken men's souls, but hey, the results don't lie. Maybe she's hiding something under that robe.
After about 6,000 years of work, Eve's more than a little bored and fed up with her job, with her incompetant boss, with her immature co-workers, with her mindless tasks, and with the long, rambling sentences in her bio.
Eve's also probably the most reasonable and most competant demon hellside.
Because of her reputation, she gets a lot of shit from co-workers, namely Yorick.
Because of her gender, she gets a lot of shit from her boss, namely Satan.
Hell's a bit behind the times.
Some things never change.

Max
Surface Dweller
Never: Take Your Eyes Off Him
Beware of: Pointy Metal Objects
Do Not Feed.
First Appearance: The Prodigal Son
Bio: Max used to live on MERB Street along with Roth, Mike, and Kyle, but time took its course and they went their separate ways: Mike to search for money, Kyle to get his wrists sewn back together, Roth to stay put, and Max to seek his fortune in the city.
It didn't go so well for Max, but now he's back, much to the delight/terror of the other residents.
It's not that Max is a bad guy. He's not particularly cruel, or spiteful, or mean, or anything like that. He just really likes stabbing things. That's all. Nobody can really blame him for that, and nobody really does.

Janissimo de Shaquesparéne
Goes By: Yorick
Denizen of Hell - Imp
Specialty: Lust
Can't Take: No For an Answer, a Hint, a Bath.
First Appearance: Fire and Brimstone
Bio: More perverted than a barrel full of teenage Japanese businessmen on sake, Yorick is a huge annoyance to his co-workers.
Despite the fact that he apparently has no visible genitalia, one shouldn't rule out the possibility. After all, he's an imp. Who knows what kind of crazy shit he's got going on? Not me, that's for damn sure.
Yorick is an imp for now, but he's also a demon-in-training. Satan willing, he'll someday achieve his dream and become YORICK-SAN. In case you haven't guessed, he's training to become a tentacle demon.
Yorick is very proud of his pretty purple color.

"Honest" Iago
Goes By: Iago
Denizen of Hell - High Demon
Specialty: Hate
Satan's Right-Hand Man
Wears Belts: To prevent his evil powers from breaking loose and obliterating the world
Or Else: To look weird and/or snazzy.
First Appearance: The Revolution Comes
Bio: A being of pure, unadulterated hatred, rage, and tabasco sauce. Not that palatable stuff, either, I mean that totally nasty pepper stuff that tastes sour. Icky icky ick.
He does all the work down in hell, since Satan can't do anything past tying his own shoes. In fact, he doesn't even do that. Satan wears goddamn loafers.
Remember all those horrible, unspeakable, barbarous things throughout history? Well you can be sure Iago was behind it. It's not just his job to create seas of bitter sorrow and floods of crimson blood, it's also his personal hobby. Need some examples? Well, how about the Crusades? The Holocaust? Hell, all of WWII. Guess who the Garden of Eden's snake really was? Want to know who inspired 9/11? Slaughter in Afghanistan and Iraq? Slavery? Racism? Mob violence? Richard Nixon? That's right. All Iago. All the hate in the world was forged with his help, and the rage of an entire planet is his doing. Every despicable act, every wretched crime, every pitiful lie, all him.

Except New Coke and the new seasons of The Simpsons.
That was marketing.

Ioller
Denizen of Hell - Imp
Specialty: Construction
Most Resembles: A Funky Koopa Troopa
Wears Goggles: For Looks
Wears Teal: Because No One Else Will.
Favorite Video Game: Q*Bert
First Apperanace: Fire and Brimstone
Jobs: Cleaning, building, scrubbing, mopping.
Bio: Previously the demon of improper dental hygiene, a decline in this line of sin which ended up limiting influence to Britain caused Ioller to be placed somewhere on back-order, and redirected to the lines of resident medic and builder. Every time someone gets a limb severed, a massive chunk of head blown out, or an infected hangnail, Ioller's there, waiting patiently in the Red Cross tent.
Construction requirements also pegged Ioller's skills to building new cages, pens, and cells for the rapidly increasing population of damned souls. Suffice to say, this extra work is not appreciated.
On a related note, Ioller has two right hands. Joinks, yo.

"Uncle" Khosrove
Goes By: Khosrove
Denizen of Hell - Lesser Demon
Specialty: Torture; Imprisonment
Identifying Features: Big, squishy. Looks like a cactus.
Favorite Book: The Very Quiet Cricket
Favorite Ice Cream: Mint Chocolate-Chip
First Appearance: The Revolution Comes
Bio: Most people in hell, having been around a few centuries, are really tired of their jobs. But they've got nothing on Old "Uncle" Khosrove. Not only has he been doing his job the longest (even edging out Eve), but he has the worst one. Recent regulations caused by civil rights movements in hell means no more torture. So Khosrove's job is little more than jailkeeper.
He has to sit in hell's jail all day and all night, listening to the bitchy whining of the damned souls. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't have TV, he doesn't bathe. Life (unlife) sucks for Khosrove. But everyone feels kind of sorry for him, so every once in a blue moon someone will stop down by the cells to keep him company and help out how they can.
His closest friend is Ioller, who comes down almost every day for a game of cards with him. Plus, Ioller's the one building the cells in the first place.

Japreké
Denizen of Hell - Imp
Specialty: Excavation
Leader: Freedom Fighters
Favorite Flower: Sunflower
Favorite Color: Yellow
First Apperance: Fire and Brimstone
Bio: Fed up with digging tunnels for eternity just to make way for more eternal damnation, Japreké founded an underground movement, a subversive hellspawn group known as the Freedom Fighters. Japreké let his conscience get the best of him and can't bring himself to leave people trapped in eternal torment. That's just a bit much, even for those really bad guys. Well, most of them.
The trademark look of the Freedom Fighters is the yellow bandana, and the only rule is you can't wear it like a bandana.
Rumor has it there are a handful of members within the Freedom Fighters, but Japreké is the only one who's been discovered.